Have you forgiven your father?
I. A.: I never wanted it from my father, because I have always loved him, and for me, as long as there is love, there is compassion. On the other hand, no longer suffering from the pain one has suffered from childhood makes it much, much less obvious to forgive when one becomes aware of it. But today I think I have come a long way to get there, more and more.
What mother do we become when we have suffered so much from her relationship with her own parents?
I. A.: I am a very protective mother because I am too aware of what I missed and what they need. And to protect my children, it means, in the first place, from early childhood, to spare them my problems - it's up to me to settle them out of the house, in an analysis office. You have to know how to stay away, including, sometimes, physically: it is better not to be present when you are not well. I am deeply shocked when I witness, in public places, innocuous scenes of daily violence inflicted by parents on their children: "You'll put me late!" pulling his child by the arm in the street, "But eat faster, damn it bother me!". This upsets me to the point that sometimes I intervene, even get me, but I do not care! Why make children if you do not have the patience to love them? Women who choose not to have children are still frequently stigmatized, whereas in my eyes they are much more responsible than all the others who shovel children but do not protect them. Being a parent is such a responsibility: I do not understand that it is not taught ...
Your second son is 191 years old. Do you find it more difficult to raise a teenager today than at the time, for your eldest son?
I. A.: Terribly! In this consumer society, which transforms children into market value and objects of desire, they are even more in need of parental protection. Except that social networks and the Internet in general make us parents, enemies of the freedom of our children. Under these conditions, to protect them, to protect them from the power of harassment of a virtual and digital world, without falling into authoritarianism, has become, in my opinion, an almost untenable bet.
How are you doing?
I. A.: Like all mothers, I suppose: I'm worried! And I remain present, while trying to put my desires on the back burner, because they do not necessarily correspond to hers.
Our file is about communication in the couple: does it inspire you?
I. A.: Not really, because it's not my current situation.And because constantly living on one another, in "nouple", I do not see much interest. It's not that I do not want to live with someone anymore - it's going to be an absolute meeting after those love stories that always end badly - but let's say I'm not running after. I have often been alone in my life and, in the end, not so unhappy to be. The only real couple I missed was the one I needed to educate the kids. Do not have the other at his side, facing a child, it is extremely difficult. I am always very surprised when I meet women who decide to make a child alone: they do not know what awaits them!