I'm not just a resource
I've always been passionate about leading personal and professional life. But I am someone hypersensitive. When I start blocking something that seems like a problem, I easily turn a pebble into a mountain. It concerns at the moment my work where I am reproached for my absences when my son is sick. I understood that I was nothing but a resource and that does not suit me. How best to manage this situation which is a daily suffering for me? Aurélie, age 32
Thank you Aurélie for this message. He calls a lot of answers and in the first place, it is not easy to be a professional full of energy and dynamism, always in shape and in the breach, and an attentive super-mother ensuring the hours of efficient and smiling presence at work and at home. This is the dilemma of all women working in a supposedly liberated society, but studies show that household chores change on average 3 minutes per year.
In my opinion, you come up against two logical ones, one external and the other internal. The external logic is that of the computer services company (a type of business that the bad languages call "meat merchants") that adjusts resources to needs and favors profitability, taking into account individual problems and states. in a word, any psychological complexity that hinders efficiency. The ideal profiles for this type of activity are known: young, hyper ambitious, shot at work, resolutely positive and dynamic.
Compared to this type of profile and the type of social relations that it induces with the client, you are slightly off the plate: because woman, sensitive, invested in your family life, with a little hindsight , wishing to set his limits. It is neither good nor bad, but at certain times of our life, we are adapted to a certain type of environment, and to others, our needs evolving, this environment becomes unsuitable and even prejudicial. It may be time to move towards an activity more compatible with the phase of your life where you are (consulting for example) and a less standardized environment, taking more into account your sensitivity and your constraints (maybe a small service structure, or an SME).
The internal logic is the one that causes you to suffer the effects of stress and anxiety without managing to regain the upper hand. Again, no value judgment, but the suggestion to break the vicious circle where stress brings even more stress and get you accompanied as part of a supportive therapy focused on managing these emotions, or e few sessions coaching.
Take charge of your professional life and understand that you can become "the author" without guilt or fate: this is the first step towards unraveling this complex skein and rebuilding a simple and fulfilling career.