How to Unmask a Pathological Manipulator

What is their path?

Alberto Eiguer: The manipulator has often experienced situations of emotional deprivation. His parents did not take care of him, young child. His mother was able to suffer from deficiencies, to be ill, to be incapable of giving, unable to empathize with the child. He asked, asked for days, even weeks, without getting anything. He ended up trying to quell his needs and his inner suffering. He became anesthetized and developed a lack of major empathy, which will be at the root of his actions. For his parents to be interested in him, he had to make a lot of noise. Little by little, he learned to instrumentalize others to get what he needed. Then he got into the game. He believed and developed his tendencies in a pathological way by trying to roll others, to use them and complicate their existence. In other cases, the manipulator may have been, as a child, an object of enjoyment for his mother. More exactly, he has become, by his abilities, the arrogance, the strength of the mother. If he was not proud of it, he had no place in the family. In this type of operation, the father remained a ghostly figure, erased. Even present, he was not in the right place, that is, he was not involved in learning the rules, the law, respect for others. On the contrary, he made the child witness his own miseries, asking him to protect him. This place of child object of maternal enjoyment and pride is often at the origin of the structure of narcissistic perverts .

The narcissistic perverts are pathological manipulators?

Alberto Eiguer: They are the perfect incarnation. They combine the excesses of narcissism: megalomania, the complex of superiority, the feeling that everyone is their obligation and their reverence ... These intimate convictions allow them to be endowed with charisma. They first give their victims the illusion of regaining a certain strength, passing through moments of exaltation, before making them sink. But beware, if all narcissistic perverts are manipulators, all pathological manipulators are not narcissistic perverts.

Can we stop manipulating? How?

Alberto Eiguer: By failing. What stops a manipulator are disappointments, frustrations, being unmasked, rejected, abandoned by his victim. The trials, the justice can also block it, and especially the therapy, by developing the concern for others. What works well with these individuals is group sessions: confrontation with people who have been victimized by other manipulators.When the therapy works, they experience a lot of guilt, which leads them to want to fix what they did.

Go further with our dossier

Narcissistic pervers: how to protect ourselves

All the advice of our experts to recognize the narcissistic perverts, protect you from them and free you from their hold. Also find testimonials of victims of "PN", who managed to flee and rebuild.

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